29 and single again...

To all my married friends,
Which I think is all my friends. And I think all of you except for Diane have been married for 5 and more years. So think back to what dating was like. Some of you may have had many fun memories and think back on it fondly where others remember and don't want to.

Well, I have been one that really never wanted to remember what it was like to be single. I have told myself how much fun it will be to do all the "dating stuff" over again. First Kiss, holding hands, the butterflies, getting engaged, etc. Well, I also remember it to be frustrating, disappointing, feeling not good enough, not pretty enough and so on. And I felt that way at 21, no kids, no stretch marks, no c-sec line across my stomach, I actually was smaller than I am now and even though I have never had any boobs they were definitely more perky!!!!!!! There were also many more SINGLE MEN that were my age or older to date!

So I got told about a young single adult dance that I should/ could attend. I was forewarned that their would probably not be anyone my age but, to go just for fun. I went. I am stupid. There had been 8, I repeat 8 stakes invited and only 40 people were their. And I am not sure there were any guys over the age of 24! Maybe not even over the age of 22!! I am not joking. I danced with a 20 year old. I felt like it could possible be a crime!!! Sorry to say I did not find it fun! Fun would be sitting at home checking the clock and wondering what Mike, Melissa, and the kids were doing and when the kids would be home. That would have been more fun!

And the dances haven't changed. There was the YMCA, the Electric Slide, and Forever Young! All the girls out dancing and the guys looking bored sitting on the sides. I guess I knew that those dances from years ago would never change. I knew going how it would be and yet, it was so surreal like time had never changed just new faces I didn't recognize. What a night! I luckily talked who I rode with into leaving early and made it home actually before my kids did!

So I know it was one dance- and I won't ever go again. But, I think I am done. Done dating. Before I even begin. I know it sounds harsh and yet I think I came to reality. Partly because of the dance and partly because of the conversation in the car with two guys on the way back. The reality of my age, circumstances, the majority of the good guys are married, and it gets a lot harder the older you get. A reality check is good every once in awhile. I am happy where I am at, I can do this. Be a single mom. I will do this!

I don't mean to complain. I am so thankful for what I have. My family! My parents, siblings, and my two wonderful children!!!

My Christmas...

The Sunday before Christmas me and the kids went to our old ward in Canton. We loved seeing our friends and to feel of the spirit there. In Relief Society they had a little Christmas program and at the end a few Sisters shared their favorite Christmas memories. I have had many wonderful Christmas' growing up and even recently. My thoughts had reflected to last Christmas when all around me felt like it was falling apart and yet the love that I felt was incredible. Sitting in that Relief Society surrounded by so many friends that have become family I felt so much love. I reflected on the service, love, and support I had received by many of them. This year they had come and cleaned, painted and fixed up my house to prepare it to sell, babysat my kids, came over to visit so I wasn't alone, many play dates, walking and talking with me, and much more. The hugs, smiles, and "how are you's" truly made me feel so loved.

Last Christmas actually holds many good memories because of the love that was extended by friends and my family alike. It continued through out the whole year. I am so thankful for the Akron ward where I have now many wonderful friends. There is no judgment, just love. They don't see me as a divorced single mom, just as their friend and a mom. Last Sunday's lesson in Relief Society was on Angels from last Conference. I have seen angels in my life and count all of you as my angels as well! My best Christmas presents this year has been the love that I felt from all of you! Your name might not be listed here but, it is you that has brought me to the happy point that I am at!

Well, of course I got Christmas gifts this year and they were all great! My mom actually took me shopping and I got some really cute clothes. It was fun to open them and even though I knew what I was getting I was so excited and reflected on how much fun it was to shop with my mom and sister, Becky! I also got these great boots!! I love them!!

My favorite gift was given to me by Karen, my best friend. I tear up even writing this. Her love for me is more than I deserve. She made me a book filled with beautiful pictures including some family photos, and different quotes on womanhood, motherhood, and strength in our trials. It is amazing and really touched me!! Thank you Karen. These photos don't do it justice but, here is a sneak peek!

I hope you feel Love around you especially from your Heavenly Father. I know my life has been filled with his Tender Mercies and I am so grateful. I also know each of you are a gift from him to me. All my many angels!! Thank you!! God Bless!

Santa was Here!!!!!!!

What a wonderful day we have had there is so much to be thankful for! We had a perfect Christmas with fun, friends, and family! We have received so much but, I have to say my most precious gifts are those two kids I have!

Santa Came!!
He ate all the cookies, drank his milk, and even left a note! He also had to remind Peyton to be good because he is watching him!! (a rough last night)

The kids asked for bikes and Santa came through!!!

Lot's of fun!
Of course Peyton got a Spiderman Christmas!
He recieved spiderman clothes, slippers, boots, toys, tooth brush, the bike, markers, and I am sure their was more!!!

Jenna loved her Princess bike, her Sleeping Beauty Doll, her polly pocket, all her make-up, jewlery, and more! Her favorite gift may have been...

... her Camera. It didn't take that great of pics but, didn't stop Jenna from taking pics all day today! And she is good with posing people!!

Lot's of gifts! We had a great Christmas! And we were all Spoiled Rotten!

This year was considered an in-law year. So we were lucky to have Matt and Laura in town since Matt's parents live around the corner and they are doing thier Christmas on Sunday! It was pretty quiet compared to last year but, still so much fun and very eventful!!

Merry Christmas!!!

My Mom's Christmas Gift...

Last year my dad did the 12 days of Christmas for my mom and blew her away, it was amazing!


This year he wanted to top it and so he got her....

a Car!!!

She got a 2008 Buick Enclave! It is beautiful! She wasn't totally surprised since my dad felt bad about the amount of money he was spending without telling her. So she did know it was coming but, no details!! It was fun to be apart of it and even I got to be surprised too, for my dad kept the details to himself! It made if for a fun Christmas Day! Too bad technically my mom can't drive yet and shouldn't be up and around quite yet! I am still trying to get an opportunity to drive- it hasn't happened yet!! Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas Traditions!

We are so excited for Christmas!!!

This years Christmas activities have been:

-Jenna went to the Nutcracker with Lola (which we did last year) this year I couldn't go
-Both kids got to go on the Polar Express with Lola and Granbob!
-Reading scriptures each night about Christ's life and then getting a choc from the advent calendar
-Made gingerbread house, then delivered with other families and sang carols
-Big Christmas Eve Dinner and program with friends from the ward!

Every year Christmas Traditions:

-Reading the Story of the birth of Christ on Christmas Eve
-Reading "Twas the Night before Christmas"
-Christmas Eve present usually jammies or such
-Waking up Christmas Morning to the sound of Christmas Music
-Santa's big gift not wrapped, all others are!!
-Big Family Christmas Dinner and play games!

Twighlight

So I was telling friends about going to Seattle and have been nudged to read the twighlight series. I saw the movie and liked it! It was fun and enjoyable! I was told at how Washington is described in such detail in the books that it is almost its own character and so I should read them on my way. Well, I needed something to do on the airplane and am not in the middle of any book so borrowed the first two books. I looked at the amount of pages and figured I would just take the first book and that would be enough for the flight there and back!

Well, I was wrong!! I loved it and have become so addicted!! I finished the first book Saturday morning and had to go out and buy the second especially I had to have it for the long ride home, monday! I finished the second by monday night and was freaking out not having the third! My mom was having surgery tues. and couldn't figure out if I should leave the hospital to go buy the book or wait and get it later. Well, I waited and acutally waited more. The day was longer than anticipated but, my mom is doing well now. (it was minor foot surgery, she had done the L and now it was the R's turn.)

I called a friend in Canton and on the way home from picking Jenna up from Lola's I stopped by to get the last two books of the series. We did visit for a little bit!!! She understood my passion she loves Twighlight and has tried to get me hooked now for months!!!!!!!!!

Well I am hooked! I am now on the fourth book and I love it! I don't even really know why! The love, the passion- maybe? I do like the struggle between good and evil and also the control and restraint that these vampires have (I marvel at it myself) The non-truths of the book, the fantasy and imagintation does entertain me and hold me captive! But, I am soo totally addicted. And I have to say addicted because I truly don't want to eat or sleep or do anything else, even blog. That is why it has now been 4 days later than it should have been for my blogging of Seattle. Pathetic, I know and agree but, can't help it! I have to go so I can continue my addiction and finish the fourth book. I have got to move on. Christmas is coming and I do have things that need to be done.

Just for the record I am taking care of my mom and my kids! (They are first priority and always will be) So the book comes after them!!!!! Back to my Edward and Bella.....

Seattle

Seattle was so much fun! I went out to see my friend Leila. Here we are both at the Farmer's Market in Seattle! It was a lot of fun with all the variety of fruits, veggies, pasta's, and things like purses, lotions, soaps, lot's of food and more!!! It was really cold and had even snowed in Washington which they claim is rare! But, it was so fun!!

I was able to stop and see the Seattle Temple which I loved! There was a bride and groom outside doing pictures- Leila claimed in was a sign! I loved that they had white umbrella's! They are prepared for Seattle!! I loved the weather, it was part of Seattle's atmosphere! It was so great!

Above is the Macy's Star in downtown Seattle! It is a beautiful city especially at night!!

Leila lives in Kirkland, and these are pics from downtown Kirkland! It is an amazing and fun town. I loved Seattle! You have water, green all year, mountains, and a little bit of snow. Of course quite of bit of rain, and it still gets cold! I think I like the hot dry weather best! But, you can't beat the beauties of Washington State!!!

This is leila and her dog, pierre!

Me and leila shopping around town! We so enjoyed each other. My purpose for the trip was to hang out, a girl trip with no kids or expectations. And that is exactly what I got! We shopped (not really for anything paticular, just having fun), drove around to see lots of sights, hung out with friends (she even had a Christmas Party/ Cookie Exchange) which was soo much fun. I loved meeting her and Joe's family & friends. Leila did so much cooking and I was always eating (one of my fav memories) She is an amazing cook. I had to come home and realize now I had to do the cooking!!! It was so much fun! The pics below are from after shopping in downtownRedmond there was a show on the streets for everyone to see! They had toy soldiers singing, dancing and playing music, there was frosty the snowman, and some penguin, and even fake snow!!! That was a great memory! Thanks Leila for the wonderful time, I loved it!!!

Excited for Santa!!!

I love posing my cute kids!  So when I told them to look

for Santa they did it right away!!!

I think my two kids are adorable!!  I had their pics 

taken at Kiddie Kandids today and they did not

want to take off their jammies!  They even wore them

to sit on Santa's lap!  They asked for bikes!!

Christmas is soo much fun!  I love this time of

year and am thankful to have my two kids!!

Congrats DiDi and Cory!!!

My little Sister Diane is pregnant and today she found out she is having a Girl! I am so excited for her and Cory! I also finally convinced her to create a blog. So she has started it with the pics of the Ultrasound. There is a link to her blog under the blogs I love!!! I thought some of you guys might be interested! Congrats DiDi! I love you! And I am going to have fun shopping for this little sweetheart!