So I had posted about me being Overwhelmed- I hate to admit that it hasn't gotten any better! I have been struggling lately with all the things that I feel are required of me- and I can't do it all! I have felt overwhelmed, frustrated, guilty, not good enough, and so on. Which of course doesn't help any situation. I am glad to be going to school but have been struggling to enjoy it like I did last semester. I felt stress last semester, and I also felt this Joy just with the idea of being there. I have been fighting to get that back. I have only felt loneliness, fear, and frustration.
I have had feelings of needing to let go, and have struggled with that too. I know I have a Heavenly Father that loves me and wants to carry my burdens. I know he is there, I have felt him and have seen his hand in my life daily. The big problem is me- I know what I need to do and I don't want to. Crazy!?! I know. A fight has been in me.... Sometimes I think it is easier to carry around our struggles and pain then to let them go. Then what? I am afraid of that feeling of free falling... that idea of then what? So I keep struggling.
(This is me screaming!!!!! I struggled even doing this)
This weekend has been my answers to prayer. I feel I have been given a new strength, with concrete answers and direction. How amazing that we have a Gospel that can do all that for us!!!! There were so many wonderful talks this weekend- I think I really got it when Pres. Monson's daughter talked about safety equipment. I realized how much I have in my life- I have everything. It all of sudden didn't seem so hard to let go!! I feel a new peace, a new freedom!! (Which I felt the same way after doing the Zip line)
I felt so much love from my Heavenly Father, and I could feel me letting go. I feel a power in me, an excitement- I am BACK! I am so thankful for the words that have been spoken from our Church Leaders. I am thankful for a living Prophet. And I am so thankful for a loving Heavenly Father and for his Son, Jesus Christ!
I hope everyone is doing well and feels Gods Love for themselves!!
(The Sacred Grove)
God Bless!! I love you!!!